The Three Worst Critiquers You Could Ask For...

Critique Itch: The overwhelming desire to let other people read your work, whether complete or incomplete, in search of an opinion.

We all come down with it at some point, whether it's early on in our first draft, or later in revisions, or, for a lucky few, when the whole thing is polished and complete.  I, myself, have had the itch for quite a while now.  But care must be taken when we seek out opinions and critiques about our baby.  There are certain people that just shouldn't be asked for an honest opinion about anything in terms of evaluating you or something you have crafted.  You wouldn't ask your son's first grade teacher to diagnose a rash on your left arm, now would you?  No.  Because they don't have the context to be able to evaluate something like that.  

There are three people you should never ask to critique your novel, no matter how much fiction they read...

1.  Your Mom

Yes, your mom has hopefully been there for you through thick and thin, skinned knees and lost loves, graduations and birthdays.  She has been the guiding force in your life for as long as you can remember, and you ask her opinion about any big venture in your life.  The problem with asking mom to critique your writing is that she is waaaaay too close to you to give any kind of objective opinion.  She has always thought you were a winner, no matter how defective your science project was or how ridiculous you looked in those acid washed jeans pinned tight to your ankles.  She will tell you it's wonderful; everything a good story should be and that everyone will love it for sure.  She won't mention the giant plot hole that is staring her in the face from the get-go, or the complete lack of sympathy she feels for pretty much all of your characters.

2.  Your Best Friend

No matter how many fights you've gotten in, or how many boyfriends/girlfriends you've stolen from each other, your best friend has stuck by you.  They may even be the type to be relatively honest with you when you try on something atrocious or start dating an ex-con.  But when you ask them to  critique your writing, they will:

 a) be too scared to tell you what they really think

b) be too eager to spite you after you got the hot guy's/girl's number last night

or c) not have a clue what makes writing good and shrug their shoulders at you

Best friends are incapable of being objective, much like good ol' mom, above.

3.  Your spouse/SO

When you ask your spouse to critique your novel that they have seen you pouring your spirit into for the last few weeks, months, even years, they will look at you like a deer in the headlights and may even feign an illness just to get out of it.  Of course, they may be curious to read the thing you've kept secret and been obsessed with for so long, but to give an opinion on it is a different thing, entirely.  There is no right answer for them; no opinion of theirs that you will accept.  If they say it is wonderful, you will immediately be suspicious that they are placating you and get upset.  If they say it is garbage, you will immediately be suspicious they are just mad because you spent the last twelve date nights finishing your book and get upset.  The best they can hope for is a harmless indifference toward the whole thing, after which you will also become suspicious and get upset.  It's like setting a trap for them.  Not very nice.

Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't let these people read your book, because of course you should.  They will most likely want proof that you are, in fact, not insane and all that time spent obsessing about imaginary people and places was not for nothing. I just don't think these are the right people to seek a critique from.  They are your loved ones and think highly of you no matter what.  But when you feel the itch coming on, you don't want that.  You want validation.  You want to know whether or not you suck.  Hopefully, your mom, best friend, and spouse would never tell you that you suck (as a writer), even if it is, in fact, true.  

So get realistic and get a beta reader, critique partner, or writing buddy that will look at your writing objectively and critically, with their writing knowledge behind them.  It will help you learn to swallow some of the tough criticism that will no doubt come later in the querying stage.

Chapbooks, Collections, and Poems... Oh my!

Lately I've been pondering the idea of submitting a collection of poetry for publication, because let's face it: I clearly do not have enough going on and what's another writing project, right?  But seriously, I have wanted to publish a chapbook since I was about sixteen years old, I just didn't know how to go about it.  I still don't, really, but I'd like to think I'm closer than I was all those years ago. 

Anyway, I have been revising and gathering some of my favorites that seem to coalesce well enough.  I am an avid fan of the Poetic Asides Blog on the Writers' Digest site and frequent it more times than I'd like to admit.  I was checking a new post the other day and saw one of the editors has begun a series titled, "Assembling and Submitting a Poetry Collection"- what are the odds?  He has found a publisher for his collection of poetry and has decided to share his experience with the world.  I highly recommend checking it out if you are in the market for some poetry publishing advice.

All these publication ponderings have me itching to share my writing with the world, so I decided I'll share a few pieces of my own on the blog in hopes that it will ease the super scary transition to submitting a complete work of fiction or poetry.  So read, comment, or just pass right on through...

This is a series of senryu I wrote while sitting in the waiting room of a hospital:

I wait in the room
where waiting is implied;
a tissue-laden limbo

Intensive care;
vulnerability that
opens at the back

Reconciled beneath
the many wires and machines,
lies his spirit, marred.

                      Amy Glamos

Story Time: The Writer-Hermit in Me

It had been a long and tedious day of packing boxes, moving boxes, moving them again when no one saw the GIANT letters K-I-T-C-H-E-N and placed them, instead, in the bathroom, and unpacking boxes.  The very last thing my brain wanted to do was attempt a little creativity but being the diligent writer that I am, I felt compelled to do it anyway.  I dug out my laptop and power cord, poured a generous glass of wine and found a spot on the couch that wasn't too covered in that wonderful dust that accumulates in no time at all during a move. 

As I waited for the computer to start up, I looked around and felt the hermit that dwells within my head begin to stomp around in agitation and grumble.  The lighting was  all wrong; the old house had great light in the living room.  I couldn't even get around the stack of boxes to set up the lamp, let alone find a suitable outlet to plug it in.  Oh well, dim lighting would just have to do for the night. 

Grumble grumble...

I clicked on the internet icon on my computer instinctively to turn on Pandora radio.  I have to have music to write to, you see.  Well, silly me, I forgot that our internet wasn't hooked up yet.  No music for me.

Stomp, grumble, stomp...

I sat and stared at the blank Word document for an hour, sipping my wine and listening to the hermit upstairs gripe about the unfamiliarity of the new place.  I gave up and went to bed, feeling dejected and thinking I'd never be able to write again in this strange and unwelcoming place.  (I have a tiny flair for the dramatic, eh?)

I am a total creature of habit, in case you hadn't noticed.  The stubborn hermit in my brain prevented me from getting any writing done for the first week in our new house.  I am finally getting into my routine again, but it made me think about how comfortable we writers get in our writing routines.  I realize not all writers out there are as stubborn about change as I am, but it seems to me that we all have found methods that work for us and get slightly cranky when they are disrupted.  It's a bit like sports players and their superstitious pre-game rituals, isn't it?  If I don't have the right light, the right music, and NO ONE sitting close enough to read my computer screen, (Yes, I am that uptight about people being able to read what I'm typing.  My own husband can attest to it.) then I can't seem to spit anything out.

I am also finding out that my routine is changing in the new place, because certain aspects of the old routine don't feel right anymore.  I used to write in the kitchen all the time at our old house.  The kitchen here holds no interest for my writer-hermit brain.  But now, for some reason, I feel the urge to write in the bedroom all the time.  I never wrote in the bedroom at our old house.  Just silly little things that make me ponder the writing process...

Where/when/how do you like to write?

RTW: Poetry Month

YA Highway's Road Trip Wednesday

April is National Poetry Month, as I'm sure you're all aware by now.  That means lots of lovely verse has been floating around the interweb ether for a few weeks.  It has even found its way onto the YA Highway Blog!  Today's Road Trip Wednesday question asks us to share our favorite poem and/or poet.  I find this prompt to be exceedingly difficult; impossible, actually.  To pick just one favorite poem or poet would be like choosing just one thing to eat for the rest of your life.  With so many delicious options available and an ever-changing mood, how could one possibly declare just one thing above all others? 

There are far too many poems that I would label favorites for me to share in one post, but I have chosen one that speaks to me today and has done so many times in the past.  I love this particular poem because it describes my personality so very well.  I tend to take things very personally and feel the weight of others' burdens on my own shoulders as well.  

After what happened at the Boston Marathon this week, I have been in a somewhat despairing mood.  For some reason, these tragic events weigh heavily on me and I find it difficult to shake them off and continue with everyday life.  I have been told many times in my life that I take things too personally and need to develop thicker skin.  This is especially true in the writing industry, where criticism is thrown at you whether you want to play catch or not.

So here is my favorite poem of the moment:

Personal

By Tony Hoagland

Don’t take it personal, they said;

but I did, I took it all quite personal—

the breeze and the river and the color of the fields;

the price of grapefruit and stamps,

the wet hair of women in the rain—

And I cursed what hurt me

and I praised what gave me joy,

the most simple-minded of possible responses.

The government reminded me of my father,

with its deafness and its laws,

and the weather reminded me of my mom,

with her tropical squalls.

Enjoy it while you can, they said of Happiness

Think first, they said of Talk

Get over it, they said

at the School of Broken Hearts

but I couldn’t and I didn’t and I don’t

believe in the clean break;

I believe in the compound fracture

served with a sauce of dirty regret,

I believe in saying it all

and taking it all back

and saying it again for good measure

while the air fills up with I’m-Sorries

like wheeling birds

and the trees look seasick in the wind.

Oh life! Can you blame me

for making a scene?

You were that yellow caboose, the moon

disappearing over a ridge of cloud.

I was the dog, chained in some fool’s backyard;

barking and barking:

trying to convince everything else

to take it personal too.

Anyone else have an opinion or favorite to share?

By the way, if you are a writer of fiction or non-fiction and haven't developed an appreciation for poetry yet,  check this out.

Food For Thought Friday + Writing Goals

Food For Thought Friday

+

Writing Goals =

 Double The Fun!

It's Friday: time for some food!  As an extra special treat, I thought I'd share some writing goals along with a recipe in the hopes that, by putting it "out there" in the magical interweb world, my procrastination will be put to shame and run far far away never to bother me again.  If only.  Any who, I am hereby declaring this space safe for goal-sharing.  It's kind of fun and motivational to challenge yourself every now and again, right?  So here are some goals, both writing-related and just plain me-related, that I am hoping to achieve sometime in the remainder of this year.

1. I will continue to write something every single day, regardless of what is going on.  My children may be completely uncooperative and cling to me like Velcro but I can still manage to spit out a few hundred words on my book or a poem or two when the darling little devils are sleeping.
2. I will stop self-editing ALL THE TIME.  Ok, that may be slightly unrealistic.  I will make a serious effort to stop self-editing all the time.  Better.  
3. I will not let The Fear stop me from submitting my work.
4. I will make decisions.  Yes, they may turn out to be mistakes but at least I'll know the few seconds of excitement I spent in the air were worth the jump.
5. I will register for a Writers' Conference.  I have heard nothing but wonderful things about people's experiences at these regional conferences and I know it will help me gain experience in marketing myself and my writing.
6. I will finish this marathon of a novel!

Anyone else have goals to set for themselves or share?


On to the food!  Today, I'm sharing a recipe that requires no baking of any kind.  Weird, I know.  But it's lovely and seasonally perfect and super simple.  Plus, the kids (and the big kid known as the hubs) will gobble it up it's so delicious!  Enjoy!

Spring Minestrone with Chicken Meatballs

adapted from Bon Appetit

8 oz. ground chicken (about a cup)

1/2 cup plain breadcrumbs

6 Tbsp. grated Parmesan, divided, plus more for garnish

4 cloves minced garlic, divided

2 Tbsp. chopped fresh chives

1 egg

2 Tbsp. olive oil

1 leek, white & pale green parts only, sliced in 1/4 inch rounds OR half an onion, finely chopped

6 cups chicken broth

3/4 cup ditalini or other small pasta

1 cup carrots, sliced in 1/2 inch rounds

1 cup baby spinach

Chopped fresh basil

Mix chicken, breadcrumbs, 3 Tbsp. parmesan, 2 minced garlic cloves, chives, egg and salt & pepper to taste in a medium bowl.  Make sure egg is disbursed evenly.  Form into 1/2 inch diameter meatballs.  (Makes about 28)

Heat oil in a medium pot over medium heat.  Cook the meatballs until golden all over, about 3 minutes.  (They will finish cooking in the soup)  Transfer to a plate and set aside.

Add leek or onion to the pot and cook, stirring often, until beginning to soften, about 3 minutes.  Add 2 minced garlic cloves and cook for 1 minute.  Add the broth and 2 cups water and bring to a boil.  Stir in the pasta and carrots; simmer until pasta is almost al dente, about 8 minutes.  Add meatballs and simmer until pasta is al dente, carrots are tender, and meatballs are cooked through, about 3 minutes.  Add spinach and 3 Tbsp. parmesan and stir until spinach is wilted and parmesan is melted.  Season to taste with salt and pepper.  Garnish individual bowls with more parmesan and chopped basil.

Just Take It Bird By Bird...

I have read many books on writing, as a way to procrastinate the actual writing part of writing a book.  Some of them were a complete waste of time.  Others were pure gold and I would like to share one of those treasures with you all today.

If you are like me and feel you would almost rather throw yourself in front of a bus than face the overwhelming fear of rejection and failure in your writing, you should read this book.  It speaks to the insecurities in all of us as writers and as people.  The book is called Bird by Bird, Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott.

   

What I love most about this book is that there is an entire chapter called "Shitty First Drafts" and the next chapter is "Perfectionism".  The most difficult obstacle I have faced in my writing and still struggle with today is the fear.  The overwhelming anxiety that I am not good enough and have no business pretending to be.  I'm not sure if I've alluded to my personality enough here, (I've probably beaten you over the head with it by now) but to shorten a very long laundry list of quirks, I am a perfectionist.  Through the course of finding my voice as a writer, I have come to the realization that perfectionism is a distraction from reality.  It's like a blindfold that prevents you from seeing the truly marvelous mess of life.  Somewhere down the line, I made the very convoluted decision that the possibility of failure was much too scary and not even worth the effort it takes to put myself out there.  Miss Lamott explains it much better than I do:

"Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people.  It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft.  I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won't have to die.  The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren't even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they're doing it."

She goes on in more detail, but I'll let you discover it for yourselves in the book.  This mindset is so detrimental to achieving success as a writer, and I continue to fight it on a daily basis.  If you have even the tiniest bit of self-doubt, which a lot of writers do, check out this book.  It might change your perspective.  At the very least, it will give you valuable insight on writing and life.  Happy Easter, everyone!